---
title: Shidduchim in the Orthodox Jewish Community | Mispar
description: "This article features the findings of 1056 respondents who shared their\nshidduch experiences. Though each one is so individual, we seeked to uncover\ninteresting patterns and behaviors that drive decisions and beliefs."
image: https://mispar.co/hubfs/Splitting%20the%20sea%20banner-01-1.png
---

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[#Jewish community](https://mispar.co/insights/topic/jewish-community) [#Jewish People](https://mispar.co/insights/topic/jewish-people) [#Shidduchim](https://mispar.co/insights/topic/shidduchim)

# Shidduchim in the Orthodox Jewish Community

![Dina Goldman](https://mispar.co/hubfs/Imported%20images/leadership.png)

### Dina Goldman

 Research Analyst

April 19, 2024 

•

 min read

![Shidduchim in the Orthodox Jewish Community](https://mispar.co/hubfs/Splitting%20the%20sea%20banner-01-1.png)

 

This article features the findings of **1,056 respondents** who shared their shidduch experiences. Though each experience is deeply individual, we sought to uncover key patterns and behaviors that drive decisions, expectations, and beliefs.

Below we outline the demographics of the Shidduch survey participants. Community affiliation, gender, and life stage play a pivotal role in understanding the insights that follow.

![Mispar Shidduchim Study Respondent Demographics](https://mispar.co/hs-fs/hubfs/shidduchim_respondents-1.png?width=657&height=498&name=shidduchim_respondents-1.png)

 Figure 1: Mispar Shidduchim Study — Respondent Demographics & Sample Breakdown

 

## What Matters Most: Parents vs. Singles

There are so many motivations and aspirations that drive singles and their parents to decisions in Shidduchim. In an effort to understand what each group wants most, we compare the ranking of different priorities submitted by parents and singles.

![Mispar Shidduchim Whats Important](https://mispar.co/hs-fs/hubfs/shidduchim_whatsimportant.png?width=656&height=537&name=shidduchim_whatsimportant.png)

 Figure 2: Mispar Shidduchim Study — Top Priorities Ranked by Parents vs. Singles

 

## Chassidish vs. Yeshivish / Litvish Sentiments

Those who are familiar with different communities are well aware of main differences between them. Here we zoom in on the level of importance of different sentiments in the Chassidish versus Yeshivish/Litvish population. While most priorities are similar across both affiliations, there is a striking contrast in the financial factor.

![Mispar Shidduchim Chassidish vs Litvish](https://mispar.co/hs-fs/hubfs/shidduchim_chassidish.png?width=727&height=307&name=shidduchim_chassidish.png)

 Figure 3: Mispar Shidduchim Study — Sentiments & Financial Contrast by Affiliation

 

## Potential Barriers & Pre-Marriage Topics

Participants rated the extent to which potential barriers matter to them. We also touched on personal topics that impact marriage to understand how, if, and to what extent they are discussed prior to engagement.

![Mispar Shidduchim Barriers](https://mispar.co/hs-fs/hubfs/shidduchim_outoftown.png?width=700&height=392&name=shidduchim_outoftown.png)

 Figure 4: Mispar Shidduchim Study — Potential Match Barriers & Pre-Marriage Discussion Levels

 

## Information Sharing Between Parents

It is interesting to notice how different communities go about sharing information before marriage. Here we compare the extent of conversations between parents of the Chassidish and Yeshivish/Litvish communities.

![Mispar Shidduchim Information Sharing](https://mispar.co/hs-fs/hubfs/shidduchim_squaredaway.png?width=705&height=391&name=shidduchim_squaredaway.png)

 Figure 5: Mispar Shidduchim Study — Information Sharing Extent Between Parents

 

## In-Town vs. Out-of-Town Conversations

In the following graph we compare the extent of conversations between potential Mechatunim who live In-town versus Out-of-town. The differences may seem small, yet they indicate subtle geographic nuances.

![Mispar Shidduchim In Town vs Out of Town](https://mispar.co/hs-fs/hubfs/shidduchim_marriage.png?width=711&height=367&name=shidduchim_marriage.png)

 Figure 6: Mispar Shidduchim Study — In-Town vs. Out-of-Town Mechatunim Conversation Nuances

 

## Age Dynamics & Older Singles Insights

We asked singles in Shidduchim for their current age and the age they entered the Shidduch scene, as well as their opinions on community struggles. This offered us valuable insight about those in Shidduchim for a longer duration.

![Mispar Shidduchim Veteran Singles](https://mispar.co/hs-fs/hubfs/shidduchim_veteransinglebased.png?width=701&height=509&name=shidduchim_veteransinglebased.png)

 Figure 7: Mispar Shidduchim Study — Entry Age vs. Current Age & Community Struggle Opinions

 

## The Meeting Process: Dating vs. Beshows

We explore the meeting process—dating or beshows? The breakdown below informs the responses that follow regarding meeting formats.

![Mispar Shidduchim Meeting Process](https://mispar.co/hs-fs/hubfs/shidduchim_meet.png?width=721&height=349&name=shidduchim_meet.png)

 Figure 8: Mispar Shidduchim Study — Meeting Process Breakdown (Dating vs. Beshows)

 

## Picture Requests & Experience Ratings

We asked about prerequisites before meeting, and noticed a clear contrast between those who have beshows versus those who date when requesting pictures of a match. Interestingly, both groups rate their overall experience similarly on a 1-to-5 star scale.

![Mispar Shidduchim Picture Requests](https://mispar.co/hs-fs/hubfs/shidduchim_pictureperfect.png?width=705&height=297&name=shidduchim_pictureperfect.png)

 Figure 9: Mispar Shidduchim Study — Picture Prerequisites & Satisfaction Ratings

 

## Starting Age & The Age Gap Crisis

The chart below shows the starting age for Shidduchim, comparing Chassidish and Litvish participants. The contrasts highlight how this dynamic affects the age gap, widely believed to contribute to the Shidduch crisis.

![Mispar Shidduchim Does Age Matter](https://mispar.co/hs-fs/hubfs/shidduchim_doesagematter.png?width=707&height=349&name=shidduchim_doesagematter.png)

 Figure 10: Mispar Shidduchim Study — Starting Age Differences & Age Gap Impact

 

## Years Spent in Shidduchim

We compare the duration newly married respondents spent in Shidduchim to those currently in Shidduchim, separating Chassidish and Yeshivish groups. The comparison reveals a stark contrast between young men and women in each group, alongside a recent increase in waiting times for Chassidim.

![Mispar Shidduchim Years Spent](https://mispar.co/hs-fs/hubfs/shidduchim_yearsspent.png?width=705&height=542&name=shidduchim_yearsspent.png)

 Figure 11: Mispar Shidduchim Study — Duration Spent in Shidduchim (Married vs. Single)

 

## Matchmaking Effort & Collaboration

We explore the human effort involved in Shidduchim and collaboration between different parties, pointing out varied responses from each group and tracking changing patterns over time.

![Mispar Shidduchim Who Makes Matches](https://mispar.co/hs-fs/hubfs/shidduchim_whomakes.png?width=701&height=498&name=shidduchim_whomakes.png)

 Figure 12: Mispar Shidduchim Study — Match Origins & Collaborative Matchmaking Effort

 

## Shadchan Payment & Compensation Rates

We inquired about how much parents paid the Shadchan for their most recently married child. The data below breaks down the numbers by Shadchan type, indicating glaring differences between groups.

![Mispar Shidduchim Shadchan Payment](https://mispar.co/hs-fs/hubfs/shidduchim_howmuch.png?width=701&height=497&name=shidduchim_howmuch.png)

 Figure 13: Mispar Shidduchim Study — Shadchan Compensation Rates by Category

 

## Information Gathering & Trust Patterns

Information gathering is a major component in Shidduchim. We delved into it with questions for both seekers and providers. Are trust issues unfounded? We explored how people navigate information sharing and discovered surprising patterns.

![Mispar Shidduchim Information Gathering](https://mispar.co/hs-fs/hubfs/shidduchim_information.png?width=694&height=387&name=shidduchim_information.png)

 Figure 14: Mispar Shidduchim Study — Information Inquiry Methods & Reference Checking

![Mispar Shidduchim Providing Information](https://mispar.co/hs-fs/hubfs/shidduchim_providinginformation.png?width=698&height=245&name=shidduchim_providinginformation.png)

 Figure 15: Mispar Shidduchim Study — Information Accuracy & Trust Dynamics

 

## Community Redting & Shadchan Challenges

The charts below illustrate community involvement in suggesting matches (redting) and highlight key obstacles facing Shadchanim today.

![Mispar Shidduchim Redting](https://mispar.co/hs-fs/hubfs/shidduchim_redting.png?width=663&height=232&name=shidduchim_redting.png)

 Figure 16: Mispar Shidduchim Study — Community Involvement in Redting Matches

![Mispar Shidduchim Shadchan Obstacles](https://mispar.co/hs-fs/hubfs/shidduchim_respond.png?width=701&height=285&name=shidduchim_respond.png)

 Figure 17: Mispar Shidduchim Study — Responsiveness & Obstacles Facing Shadchanim

 

## Community Voices & Desired Changes

We turned to participants to share their voices and express hopes for themselves, their families, and communities. We categorize responses by community, reflecting unique sentiments from each group.

![Mispar Shidduchim What Can We Change](https://mispar.co/hs-fs/hubfs/shidduchim_whatcanwechange.png?width=808&height=1039&name=shidduchim_whatcanwechange.png)

 Figure 18: Mispar Shidduchim Study — Participant Recommendations & Desired Changes

 

## Conclusion & Call for Action

The purpose of this study is to explore patterns and observations on the critical topic of Shidduchim within the Orthodox Jewish community. We share it to spark meaningful conversations and initiate positive change. Thank you for doing your part in investing in this cause. We hope you found the results as fascinating as we did.

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![Mispar Shidduchim Study Graphic Footer](https://mispar.co/hs-fs/hubfs/base%20longform%20separados%20222-19.png?width=839&height=109&name=base%20longform%20separados%20222-19.png)

 Figure 19: Mispar Shidduchim Study — Graphic Footer & Credits

Topics: [Jewish community](https://mispar.co/insights/topic/jewish-community) [Jewish People](https://mispar.co/insights/topic/jewish-people) [Shidduchim](https://mispar.co/insights/topic/shidduchim)

![Dina Goldman](https://mispar.co/hubfs/Imported%20images/leadership.png)

### Written by Dina Goldman

Research Analyst

 Industry research analyst and strategist at Mispar, specializing in compensation benchmarks and market intelligence.

#### Article Overview

 This article features the findings of 1056 respondents who shared their shidduch experiences. Though each one is so individual, we seeked to uncover interesting patterns and behaviors that drive decisions and beliefs.

Published: Apr 19, 2024  min read

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