This article features the findings of 1056 respondents who shared their
shidduch experiences. Though each one is so individual, we seeked to uncover
interesting patterns and behaviors that drive decisions and beliefs.
Below we outline the demographics of the Shidduch survey participants. Community affiliation, gender and life stage play a big role in helping us understand the rest of the article. The survey was distributed via online platforms targeting different age groups and Orthodox Jewish communities to represent a varied audience.
There are so many motivations and aspirations that drive singles and their parents to decisions in Shidduchim. In an effort to understand what each group wants most, we compare the ranking of different priorities submitted by parents and singles.
Those who are familiar with different communities are well aware of some main differences between them. Here we get to zoom in on the level of importance of different sentiments in the Chassidish versus Yeshivish/Litvish population. While most priorities are similar across both affiliations, there is a striking contrast in the financial factor.
Participants rated the extent to which potential barriers matter to them. We also touched on personal topics that impact marriage in an effort to understand how, if, and to what extent they are discussed before marriage.
It is interesting to notice how different communities go about sharing information before marriage. Here we compare the extent of conversations between parents of the Chassidish and Yeshivish/Litvish communities.
In the following graph we compare the extent of conversations between potential Mechatunim who live In-town versus Out-of-town. The differences may seem small, yet they indicate the nuances between the two groups.
We asked singles in Shidduchim for their current age and the age they entered the Shidduch scene, as well as their opinions on community struggles in the area of Shidduchim. This offered us insight about those in Shidduchim for a longer time.
We talk about the meeting process - dating or beshows? The breakdown below informs the responses that follow.
We asked about prerequisites before meeting, and noticed quite a difference between those who have beshows versus those who date when it comes to requesting pictures of a potential match. It’s interesting to notice the similarities of each group rating their shidduch experience from 1 to 5 stars.
The following shows the age when singles start Shidduchim, comparing the responses of the Chassidish and Litvish participants. The contrasts indicate how this dynamic affects the age gap, which is believed to be a significant contribution to the Shidduch crisis.
We compare the amount of years newly married respondents were in Shidduchim to those currently in Shidduchim, separating the Chassidish and Yeshivish population to get a closer view. The comparison indicates a stark contrast between patterns of boys and girls in each group, as well as a recent increase in waiting time for Chassidim.
We explore the human effort involved in Shidduchim and the collaboration between different parties. We point out varied responses from each group and try to understand how patterns are changing over time.
We inquired about how much parents paid the Shadchan for their most recently married child, and below we break down the numbers by Shadchan type. The responses indicate a glaring difference between groups of Shadchanim.
Information gathering is a big aspect in Shidduchim and we delved into it with a variety of questions to those asking and those providing.
Are trust issues unfounded? We explored how people navigate information sharing and discovered surprising patterns.
The graph below helps us understand community involvement when it comes to suggesting Shidduch matches.
A closer look at the challenges and dynamics of Shadchanim highlights some obstacles among different groups.
We turned to participants to share their voices and express their desires and hopes for themselves, their families and communities. We categorize responses by community as different sentiments were expressed by each one.
The purpose of this study is to explore patterns and observations on the very important topic of Shidduchim within the Orthodox Jewish community. We share it with the world in order to spark further conversations and initiate change.
Thank you for doing your part in investing in this cause. We hope you found the results as fascinating as we did.
You can also join our panel by clicking this link!
